Indian Summer

LOOK! I'm getting in in Under a month!!! :) (I am sitting on my couch--well--my friends' couch--for the first time in about a month...just sitting, doing nothing. And blogging. And it feels amaaaazing. Cupcakes in the oven and my current crush--Broken Bells--on the radio.)

I just want you all to know that this goes back two months...to the end of July. And I also want you to know that I'm really, really happy. I can't remember ever feeling happy in this country. Like, really REALLY happy. I mean, I still get absurdly homesick. (Talked to my sister on the phone the other day and cried when I got off the phone.) But, London is treating me well.

Anyway, this post is dedicated to my dear friend Julianna Immaculatina Uccello. Don't worry, she's alive and well, she just love bullet points. And I promised.

JULY
*Not in India.
*Forgot to get a visa.
*Forgot? Yea, I'm an idiot. I know.
* Cried. A lot.
* Lucasz is there, without me, from Australia.
*Everyone says, everything happens for a reason.
*Retrospectively, I would have just been sad and heartbroken coming back to London, alone.

*Not in India = Homelessness.
*Couch surfing with friends. Gets tiresome.
*Plenty of friends have rooms opening in October. Can I WAIT that long? (To be determined....)
* Lived with Dave and Claire. Fell in love with south London. (I'm back here now, btw. Sitting on their couch.)
* South London is just CALMER. PLENTY of culture, but not so BUSY all the time.
*Met Eamo's new NINETEEN YEAR OLD girlfriend. It broke the spell. I'm SO over it! For REAL. (We hung out two days ago, just the two of us. And had a BLAST. I'm so happy we can be friends now.)

*Went to Oxford. (Look..that's Oxford. Look familiar? It's from Harry Potter!!...And speaking of Harry Potter, Daniel Ratcliffe played at the celebrity cricket match at my hockey club...and guess who's playing next week...DRACO MALFOY! Yes, I will be meeting Draco Malfoy next week!)
*Punted, ate too much cheese, and drank lots of Pimms.
*Saw lots of old buildings.
*Didn't really get what the big Oxford deal was...

*Started learning to drive manual. On the wrong side of the road.
* SCARY!
* Matt is an amazingly patient teacher who only reminded me once of dad, so far: "OH JEEZUS Sarah!"

*Enjoyed tourist London.
*Purchased Time Out's "1000 Things to do in London."
*I want to do them ALL before I leave.
*Played open air ping pong.
*Boated in Hyde Park.
*Played more scrabble.
*Played an awesome game of rounders (English baseball) in Hyde Park.
*Went to the Earl's Court Beer Festival.
*Partook in a Cream Tea at the National Cafe.
*Hung out with the meerkats at the London Zoo.
*Enjoyed (bad) free stand-up comedy.

*Isle of Wight
* English island and STILL managed a tan.

* Beautiful walks, COLD ocean, and relaxation. (Though walking with flipflops is kind of hard...)
* Bruised myself using Jev's Dad's archery bow.
* After the Isle, I'm not weepy about India anymore.

*Hopped over to Vienna with Heather.
*Saw a FANTASTIC street art exhibit at the Kunstalle Museum. (I guess I have a bit of a Banksy crush even though he's from Bristol...)
*Read The Shadows of the Wind, but not in Spanish.
*Played the part of the patriot.
*Realized I don't understand Viennese history. (How is Emperor Maximilian of Mexico Viennese?)
*Pretended to be part of "Before Sunset."
*Ate too much fried food. Apparently, that's the vegetarian option.
*Saw an 80-something year old man on public transport who had what looked like a Holocaust tattoo. :(
* Walked in the stunning Viennese vineyards.

AUGUST and SEPTEMBER (so far)
*Went to Serbia to meet up with Tiana.
*Saw bombed out buildings repainted with their old facades.
*Haven't seen her in 2 years! But with real friends, no time passes.
*Belgrade NEVER SLEEPS!
*Dinner parties and cool boat clubs. What more could a girl ask for?
*Lake beach--The simpler things.

*Still homeless...but subletting from friends (Dave/Claire) until October 1st.
*It's wearing on me, but Louise is back and we're looking for places.
*NEW JOB! This part I can't really do in a bullet. (Sorry Jules.) I'm project managing for a property company. My company is paid by owners of vacant buildings to fill the buildings with people so that the buildings aren't vandalized. In return, the people that live in the buildings get REALLY cheap rent. (We are talking...300-400 dollars a month to live in London. You NY-ers know how insanely cheap that is for a city.) HOWEVER, most of our properties are kind of...undesirable. Like, old Care Homes. But, a lot of them are just unconventional living--unused fire houses, office buildings, or warehouses. So, the rooms are really big. It's pretty cool actually. Most of the people living in Camelot housing are artists because the unconventional spaces are conducive to use as a bedroom/studio. I've met loads of cool people when I've been showing them around properties.
*Moral of the story? I'm not working under stifling English bureaucracy, and I think that's why I'm so much happier!
*Worried about boredom behind a desk? Absolutely. But we will see!
*Cool new colleagues. (Got offered a ticket to MUSE last night but turned it down...hockey. UGH!)

*Found a Camelot property in Central London that might have potential.
*Going to look at it with some friends on Tuesday. Might move in Friday...
*Captaining hockey is a full time job.
*Slightly overwhelmed by new job, new house, new hockey responsibilities--but it's a good overwhelmed.
*This is a piece of art made out of chocolate. The whole thing is edible. YUM.
* Been going to lots more cheap gigs in London...getting out and enjoying this city despite it's torrential downpours and perpetual clouds.

BANDS YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT because I have a crush on them (if you haven't already):
1. Mumford and Sons
2. Ellie Goulding
3. Broken Bells
4. Genuine Freakshow (These KIDS from Reading...but they are awesome.)
5. White Rabbits
6. The Complete Short Stories

HOLIDAYS
*No holidays planned till Christmas. I'll be home from December 23/4-Jan 3rd. Please hang out with me.
*Reality of not having a teaching schedule is setting in.
*Kilimanjaro 2011--Who wants in? (Seriously, let me know. I'm thinking July at the moment. The bigger the group, the better.)

Love,
Hammer

Senegal, Glastonbury, Norway, Life Evaluation, and More Death

* Please note, I began this blog almost a month ago...and then never finished it. I'm trying to be better. I am.*

Hey everyone,

It's been nearly three months and I said I would be better, but it hasn't worked out that way. I've been easily distracted. (Take right now, for example. I'm on the couch at a friend's house, and the man across the way is getting sick in his toilet. And you can see him, apparently. I'm not watching, of course. But Leigh is giving me the blow by blow details of the whole disaster.) See, distractions. Gross.

My friend Ryan recently told me that Americans use. too. many. periods. to. make. a. point. Having written the above paragraph, I now concur.

Now, for real life stories. For. Realz. Yo.

I got to Senegal only to find out that Ita (that's my mom's mom for those of you unaware) had gone into a coma and was essentially brain dead. My family struggled with the decision to let her die or not, and the decision was made to stop feeding her. Ita was a woman who had an extremely difficult life, and she left the world fighting much in the same way. She even came out of her coma for a little while to prove she was a fighter. After a long week, she passed away and once again I did not go home to be with my family. May and June were emotionally draining months for me, to say the least. Being away has not gotten any easier, but I have been reminded many times that living far away does not mean that I have to FEEL distant, even though it often times seems that way.

But on to happier things. Senegal itself was a beautiful, strange, unique, trying learning experience. It would take me days to write it all down, but basically, Senegal is a highly untouristed location...by tourist standards anyway. Jason lives in a humble home with an awesome Senegalese family. Downstairs is the small, independent English school that Jason teachs at a couple of times a week. The family was one of the best parts of Senegal for me because they were so down to earth...not to mention fun and interesting. Awa, Mame, Fari, and Cheik were the family members that I got to know while I was there. Awa is the older sister, but she is like a mother to the other siblings. She has given up a lot to make money to help raise them. Staying in Dakar with Jason for a few days and getting to spend time with the family was just as much a part of my visit as seeing the city itself. Here's a picture of a marketplace in Dakar:

And wrestlers on the beach. Wrestling is kind of the unofficial Senegalese sport:


Then, we went down to the Casamance region in the south. We went down with Ibra (Ibrahim), a friend of Jason's, to visit Ibra's family in Oussouye. He hadn't seen his mother in five years because he hadn't been able to get holiday from work. Such are the realities of the Senegalese. The journey and stay in Oussouye were, to me, the Africa I had imagined/wondered about as long as I have imagined/wondered about Africa. I thought Africa would be difficult, impoverished, wild. It was. But Senegal was also so, so beautiful with some of the most wonderful people I have met in any country, anywhere in the world.

The journey down to Oussouye was the difficult part. 20 hours. Jam packed. 100 degrees. Windows up to keep the dust out. No toilets. Smelly bodies. We brought goats for part of the journey. Yea. Goats. If I hadn't started having what I can only imagine was a panic attack (hyperventilating, freaking OUT), I STILL would have thought it was the hardest, most uncomfortable journey I've ever taken (and hopefully?? will ever take)! It was not beautiful. It was not breath-taking. It was hot and uncomfortable. I whined. I was not at my best as a pro-travel. Jason showed me what a true, calm, go-with-the-flow traveler looks like. It is not me, apparently. I saw the beginning of the end of my "hard traveling" for the very first time.

We got to Oussouye and met one of the most amazing women I think I have ever met--Ibra's mom. She had NOTHING, and she was kind, generous, and full of love for us. The house MAY have been one of the only one's in the village with electricity. Here's the house:
I couldn't really figure out the relationships between everyone who lived/ate/studied at the house, but I think that the neighbourhood students came over every night (possibly because it was one of the few places they could study with light) and Ibra's mom cooked for them and provided them with love and good conversation. She fed us every day that we were there, from large bowls on the concrete floor, as there was hardly any furniture. She never pressured me into eating meat, the way many people do when you travel to their home. We had broken French/English/Jola conversation that was mostly translated through body language, but she was patient with us anyway. There was no husband in the picture, and she had a huge household to keep, but she did so with a smile on her face. She seemed content with the cards life had dealt with her, and I think that makes her a dignified, beautiful woman.

In Ousouye we saw magnificent beaches,

braved the oppressive heat, swam in the ocean, ate lots of vermicelli noodles,
met a king of the region,

stuck out like two white sore thumbs, and read. Senegal was an eye-opening experience that challenged me in many ways, but I also came back relaxed and refreshed.

I came back from Senegal to a job I hate. I never thought I would be that person, who hates their job but goes in every day because it brings in the money. I swore I would never be that person. I became that person this year and I hated her. I have never complained about anything so much in my life. When I came back from Senegal I got this horrible rash all over my body (the doctor thought...bed bugs or SCABIES...pretty funny really), but I thought, "Man, if I get Malaria then I won't have to go to work." I actually thought that! I would rather DIE than keep this job? I was looking for other jobs, but nothing seemed remotely interesting, or enough of an escape from my current job at Petchey Academy, so I turned a fair few things down.

You will have to keep reading this in chronological order to see what happened with the whole job thing later. :)

Right-o. I came back from Senegal. This was now prime World Cup time. The USA was still in it to win it! (Well...they weren't ever really in it to win it..) But, I have never had SO MUCH AMERICAN PRIDE. I had American flags up in my room. I had a redwhiteandblue scarf. Soccer is awesome. The World Cup is awesome. And England is CRAZY for soccer, so that made it SUCH a great experience. Honestly...I've never seen the streets so quiet in London (or any big city for that matter) as when the England games were on. EVERYONE was watching television, and it was a perfect excuse to put off work...just a little bit longer.

June was a crazy month because I went to Senegal, I went to Glastonbury music festival (I'll get to that in a moment), and I had an Irish visitor (remember the Irish boys from hockey tour in Amsterdam?), all whilst being completely swamped with work. Gareth came over to England for my friend Matt's doubles tennis tournament birthday party.
Obviously, noting the picture, we were Popeye and Olive Oyl. The weekend ended up being just another one of life's big disapointments. Surprise, surprise. We had a complete blast, and Gareth is great, but "we just don't live in the same country, and really what's the point." So yea, I was feeling kind of mopey, but that's life, apparently.

Onto bigger and better things. The following weekend was the Glastonbury Music Festival.
Honestly, it was one of the most outrageous, insane, sensory overloading thing I have ever experienced. Let's just say you could spend 4 days there, never sleep, and never even SEE a single band. I did, of course, see lots of bands, but you could have avoided them, had you wanted to. I suppose you are wondering what some of the highlights were: Dizzy Rascal (surprise!),
Shakira (BIG surprise), Vampire Weekend (never a surprise), Muse (obviously!), Imogen Heap (girl crush!), Mumford and Sons (check them OUT!), and The National (yes, they ARE as awesome as everyone says they are.) We also saw a ton of other bands, ate a mind-blowing quantity of fried food, felted my own fairy wings!!, and danced till sunrise multiple days in a row. I'm already signed up to receive news about next year. I would say it is an England highlight for sure. PS: If anyone asks, I was very, very sick that weekend....at least that's what my school thinks.

Right about this time I got a new job I could be content with. Jason is leaving England forever (why are people always leaving big cities and making me feel alone and sad?) and his job at a special school was available. I applied and got the job. The job is to transition 6th graders with disabilities into middle school smoothly. I took the job, and promptly told my school I wasn't coming back. I will miss my coworkers, but the ones that matter I will still hopefully continue to see on a regular basis. This isn't the end of the life-evaluation story....so keep on reading.

We are nearing the end folks...hold tight! I went to visit my friend Hanne in Norway (yes, this is why I never have any money). It was not nearly as cold as I had expected. Don't you think of Norway as freeeezing? Well...not in the summer. I went over July 4th weekend and Hanne made me pumpkin pie. Wrong holiday but right idea. America! F-Yea! :) Norway is spectacularly beautiful, and Oslo is so clean! Unfortunately, I got my camera stolen so I don't really have any pictures to document. (And I thought Scandinavians were too rich to stoop to theft!)

And finally....mid-late July happened. I moved out of my house in Manor House. We all did. It is the end of the Manor House era. I moved out with the intention of going to India (you all know I had tickets to India for the entire summer to meet up with Lucasz the Australian boy with whom there was mutual smitten-ness...) and figured that I would get a new place when I got back at the end of the summer/end of August. I stayed on my friend Dan's couch for the week and put all of my things into storage in another friend's basement. It is surprisingly unsettling to be "homeless," even if it's only fake homelessness. I'm still living in limbo (nearly a month later, but again, story for another day). Chris Richter came to London for a few days right before summer vacation.
It is always great to have old friends as visitors here. (Why don't MORE of you come to see me....!!!!????) There was a lot of scrabble playing and a lot of delicious food eating...two of my main sources of entertainment this summer, in fact.

Remember how I got a new job teaching for next year? Well, I ALSO had an interview with a property management company to do something like project managing. It's actually far less boring, but a bit hard to explain. My friend Kerstin's boyfriend is the director for a company called Camelot. I certainly wouldn't have gotten the interview if it weren't for nepotism...but hey, I've been sending out applications for non-teaching jobs for nearly two years and haven't even gotten one single interview. Halfway through the interview John said, "You know, before I started this company, I was a teacher. I know that you have the skills to do this." It felt SO good to hear that because the reality is, as a teacher, I DO have a million transferable skills, but no one will give me the chance to prove it. John offered me the job, at nearly the same amount of money as I would have been making as a teacher next year, and I took it. Who knows if I will like the desk job atmosphere, but I have never tried it before. I know that teaching in the UK makes me miserable, and I will gladly go back to teaching in The States, but in the meantime (thank you, job freeze), I will not be teaching next year. Of course, I am nervous that I won't get it, or that I won't be good at it. I am nervous that I will die of lack of holidays. I am nervous that I will hate it, though I think it won't possibly be worse than last year. However, I'm also excited to try something new. There are opportunities to move up in the company eventually, and if I'm not going to lie, there is also a branch of Camelot in Ireland...did you think I was going to give up on a dream that easily...???

I doubt most of you made it to here...but if you did, rest assured: I will be making a new blog NEXT week, in the lead-up to the beginning of my new job. I will explain why I am not in India, and what I have done for the summer instead.

I miss you all terribly, but I also think you should make more of an effort to come see ME before I come home at Christmas. It will have been one year away, and it seems like an eternity. Just because I'm living abroad doesn't give you all the excuse to lose touch! (Special mention merit to Nate Smith who has returned from the abyss and sends me emails AND packages, to Andrew Mugler who is moving a hopskipjump away to Holland, to Tiana who writes letters in the mail, to Chris and Emily and Chelsea and Heather who were just here in London during the summer, and to Caufield who comes on exotic travels with me.)

Love you,

Hammer

Chesney Hawkes is my hero

Hey everyone!!

Chesney Hawkes is my hero. Let's dedicate this blog to him. For serious.

I'm blogging twice in one month...prize for me?! Notice, blogging really only happens on weekdays when I'm not at work. (Today I am going on an interview and have taken the day off...I am secretly determined to not work another full week for the rest of the year. Let's see how this goes.)

Where have we left off.

After getting back from The Lake District, we quickly scampered off to Wales to hike Snowdon (the highest "mountain" in Wales. This time, we were smarter and fancier. I rented us a beautiful house in the country, and we had a grand old time. Lots of hiking. Lots of castles. Lots of reasons to love the UK. For the second weekend in a row, we were lucky enough to be spared rainy weather. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that no one I have EVER met has hiked TWO WEEKENDS IN A ROW in the UK with not even a drop of rain. I will say, it was freeeeezing and wiiiiiindy, but rainless. We didn't stay up at the top because it was brutally cold, but the hike was gorgeous. In fact, I may be returning sooner rather than later. My friend Lorna is organizing a charity hike of the three peaks. (It's a 24 hour hiking extravaganza that goes up all three of the highest peaks in the UK--Scafell in England, Snowdon in Wales, and Ben Nevis in Scotland.) I'm not sure if I'm going to do it yet because I've already taken so much time off of work for various things (to be mentioned shortly) that I just don't know if I can do it again. In any case, the weather has been stellar, and I'm riding high on loving England at the moment.

Work has been work, but I resigned a couple weeks ago (not leaving, of course, until the end of the school year in July), and have been applying for loads of jobs in all sectors. Outside of teaching, no one has shortlisted me. It is more than a bit depressing. I am not a one trick pony. I have lots of transferable skills. And let's not forget I'm awesome. Can I write that in a cover letter? "Hire me because you need someone awesome to join your team." I came dangerously close to writing that in a cover letter to The Scouts. I did not get shortlisted. Perhaps I should take a hint. In any case, I'm going on an interview today at a school for children with various disabilities, to work as a transition to high school teacher. I have substitute taught at the school in the past, and I quite like the environment. It would be completely opposite to what I'm doing right now, but I need that. The reality is, I'm going to have to get a job for September, and then keep looking for things outside of the teaching sector until someone gives me a chance. I have a friend a bit older than I who works in recruitment and is going to pass my CV on to the education sector of her work. Perhaps nepotism is the way forward.

So, back to why I have missed so much time off work. I went on an interview at a school that I wasn't interested in. They didn't want me anyway. Another blow to the ego. Then, this past weekend my hockey team went away on tour to Delft, Holland. I think it was the highlight of my year. Despite all of the amazing things I've done and places I've seen, I think this was the highlight. It was four days of sun, hockey, and dancing...a winning combination. We played hockey all day, and then danced all night. We camped out with all the other teams (there must have been 400 of us in total) and generally had a ridiculous time. Called my mom on the last day...and let her speak to half of an Irish boys team. They thought she was hilarious. I think the feeling was mutual. I can't wait to go back, and it's still another year away.

So, all in all, life has been pretty uneventful these past couple of weeks. But I'm feeling very thankful for that. No news is good news, right? I'm going to keep plugging away at the tedious job applications, and hopefully something will work out for me.

Love you all, and please please please come visit me soon! (I actually have a couple of Birthright friends here right now, and it's so nice to have familiar faces around!)

Love, Hammer

I'M SORRY (but I love you)

Hey everyone,

I don't know how to start this blog. I'm sorry that I'm not a better friend/daughter/sister/granddaughter/cousin who writes more often and calls to say I love you.

My grandpa died on Tuesday, and if he WERE around, he would read this blog and know what's up in his granddaughter's life. But, I don't call enough or say I love you enough or write more often or live close enough to visit (or even close enough to go home for a funeral...) or send silly fridge magnets. And so, to everyone who is reading this, I love you. Seriously. I know it's been too long, and I am jerkstore. (And why am I the one in the family who got the seriously oversensitive gene?)

How do I go on from such introductions? Well...here goes. From March to May, a recap.

Our end of hockey social was at the end of March, and we had a great time. (I'm feeling highly uninspired to write happy things right now, but I'm really trying my best here. Excuse the lack of "brilliant" and "lovely" and "swell.") This is a photo of Carmine and I. Somehow I acquired a Dickie-Bow. (You can dress me up, but clearly, I cannot be taken out.)

April was a month of vacation. It wasn't planned that way...but it happened anyway. School let out for Easter break (what should have been two weeks) on the 6th of April. I went with Jason (who, contrary to popular belief based on frequency of couply photographs, is not, and will never be, my boyfriend) and some other friends to Newcastle, Glasgow, and Edinburgh.
What nutter goes on a hike in fake suede boots. (It was an accident, I swear!) This is what is left of Hadrian's Wall. We actually had to ask for directions to it even though we were right in front of it...funny story.Photo of the beach on the English/Scottish border

Look kids, it's a Border Abbey. Another one! (This one is in England, I think!)
Oh my goodness. Most delicious heart attack--Deep Fried Mars Bar. Edinburgh, Scotland

The trip itself was awesome, but I was reminded that my friends here are boring. Well, let me rephrase, my non-hockey, non boy-friends, are boring. I mean, Lisa and her husband are boring. They wanted to go to bed early and wake up early to see lots of castles and abbeys and well, that's just not really my thing I guess.

I love history as much as the best of them, but I'm not going to forfeit a good night out seeing a gig so that I can wake up at the crack of dawn to see the inside of a cathedral. I'm just not going to do that. And I hope that getting old doesn't mean I forget how to have fun. (I hope getting married doesn't mean I forget how to have fun!)

I do not have Peter Pan syndrome. I DO want to grow up. I DO want to get married and have babies and a house and all that good stuff. I just don't want to become LAME. I want to get married and have babies and then I want to hire a babysitter to watch them while I go and see a gig with my husband and our friends. Because, of course, I don't want to be part of those lame couples that get married and then stop hanging out. You all know the kind of couples I'm talking about. I want to take my kids hiking in those cute little baby-backpacks until they are big enough to totter along next to me in their hiking shorts and little hiking boots. Shirtless. Yes, I imagine my hippie children, both girls and boys, to be tottering shirtless. And yes, in case you are wondering, I've already named them in Sarah Hammer fantasy land. Come on girls, who hasn't fantasy named their fantasy children. (But seriously, what I'm trying to say is, growing up does not mean growing boring. So can we please not get boring when we grow up? Thanks. I'm done now.)

After Scotland, Jason and I went to Spain to hike one week of the Camino de Santiago. IT WAS SPECTACULAR. It was also the hardest thing I've ever done. We hiked about 20 miles every day. We woke up at the crack of dawn, actually, most days before the crack of dawn, and started hiking. And then we hiked all day. For 210 kilometers. It was a great test of will. And it has been confirmed, I've got will. I've got a lot of will. On day three, I thought I couldn't take one more step. And then, I took four more days worth of steps. (Mind you, on the most disgusting blisters you can possibly imagine. Let's put it this way, a man we met on the way gave me a syringe so that I could suck out all the stuff inside my blisters, and then inject them with benodine. I almost passed out from pain. I've never almost passed out from anything. It was unpleasant.) But the moral of the story is, I have learned strength of character. (Now, I need to work on patience. I know I'm not patient with other people even though I expect them to be patient with me. And that's just not fair. Sarcastically written but not sarcastically meant. Trying to write not using full sentences. Ever.)
We saw pretty things. (Day 2)

We woke up before the sun, and before the fog settled too!
We had big bags (here we are at 100 kilometers to go.) More than half way there!
We enjoyed graffiti

We made it to the cathedral and walked through the holy door that is open only on holy years. Apparently, we are pardoned for life...
We made friends. (This is Cassandra, Seb, Jason, and I at the holy door.)

After Spain we were meant to fly out of Porto, Portugal, after spending just one day there, but, the volcano kept us there for another six days. I missed a week of work. I'm still trying to find out if I'm going to get paid. Let's all hold our breaths for me. I NEED to get paid for that week. Porto was great fun.
Here is what it looks like from high up in a tower.
Here is what the beach looks like with an awesome girl jumping even though her legs were SO tired.
And HERE is what you are supposed to do on vacation. (Apparently, you are not supposed to hike. You are supposed to eat ice cream. A lot of ice cream. Specifically passion fruit flavoured ice cream. Holy Cow it's good!)

Because we ended up staying for so long, Jason and I couch surfed. I was reminded of the kindness of near strangers. Story time: Last year I went on a few dates with a guy called Dave. I met his flatmate and his flatmate's girlfriend. Things with Dave didn't go anywhere (I'm a heartbreaker, dreammaker, lovetaker don't you mess around with me!). Anyway, when we were stranded in Porto, I posted on Facebook that I was stranded. Dave's flatmate's girlfriend got in touch because she used to live in Porto, and hooked us up with a couch-surfing friend of hers. Now, we would have gotten a couch to stay on anyway, because we are part of the couch-surfing community, but, it was infinitely easier to stay with a friend of a friend. It was so kind of her to help us out, and we met people all week in Porto who went out of their way to help us out. We met numerous people who offered to host us if we had to stay longer. We were invited out for dinner with locals, went to a great university jazz night, and toured the city with our host as well. I've now got a special place for Porto in my heart. Sometimes we all need reminders that the world DOES contain people who want to go out of their way to help you out, for nothing in return.

I finally got back to work this past week, and was shocked to find that the majority of my students were actually HAPPY to have me back. They behaved REASONABLY, for once. Perhaps they needed to miss me before they could appreciate me. (One of my classes can still bring me to tears, but hey, one out of six isn't so bad. Especially not at this point.)

A brief word on work. I am still planning on leaving my school after this year. I will be handing my resignation in by the end of May. I am, however, going to stay in London for one more year. The decision had to be made at some point. I've made it. I have one more year left on my visa and I should use it. I probably will never have the opportunity to live in Europe ever again. (Once you are 30 it becomes infinitely more difficult to secure a visa.) I have had a horrible year here in terms of crappy things happening on the home-front, and I still feel like I'm coming out on top. I miss family and friends ALL the time, but as Shannon and my parents in particular have said, you all are still going to be there in one more year's time. I hate my job, so instead of moving back to the states, I will just switch jobs. I haven't decided yet if I'm still going to teach here, but because the school year doesn't end until mid-July, I still have time to decide. In the meantime, if anyone has any thoughts on what I can do here that isn't teaching, let me know. I have no clue what I'd be good at besides teaching (that someone will actually hire me to do)!!!

After a week of work, it was time for vacation again. (Sick, isn't it?) It was May day, so we had today off as a national holiday. I went up to the Lake district with Juliet, Jason, and our friend Dave. We camped. (It was freezing.)
We hiked up the highest mountain in England. (It was freeeeeeezing.) We made s'mores. I laughed a lot. It was much needed. Next weekend I'm hiking up Snowdon (the highest mountain in Wales). It's been a nature month. And I'm loving it. I'm so much happier outside. EVEN if it's cold and I can't feel my fingers and my feet are all blistery and my lips are bleeding. I've traded crushes on boys (worthless) to crushes on my rain pants (totally rewarding)! I want to wear them all the time. I want it to rain tomorrow so I can wear them to work. I've been biking to work, by the way...and I'm having a contest with myself about how much transport money I can save each week. This past week I spent 2 pounds instead of 28.50.

In terms of summer plans, I AM for SURE going to India. I'm going with Lukasz. (Awesome Australian who decided that instead of dating me he would move back to Australia. Just kidding, he decided that he was moving before he met me. I did not scare him away. I don't think. But I do have that tendency I'm beginning to notice.) I'm going for the whole summer break--July 24th until August 23rd. Well, I haven't bought my tickets yet, but that's the plan. Starting out in Mumbai and ending in Delhi. If anyone has any suggestions, pleeeeeaaassseeee get onto me about them. I would love to hear them. Also, if anyone wants to join us for part of the trip, that would be totally great. (Chris, want to meet up for a couple of weeks? Lorna, it would be awesome to see what happens to Scottish skin in India!)

We are coming to the end of the blog now, and I just want to repeat what I mentioned earlier--I love you all, and I would love to hear from you all more, just as I will try to write more often. (I think everyone in the world got a postcard from Portugal though. I had a LOT of time on my hands...)

Miss you, now more than ever. Gosh, am I really that much of a sap?

:) Hammer

PS: If you want to sponsor me for a race I'm running, you can click here.

Translation to "Death of the Bloggity"

Hey All,

A translation has been requested for my earlier blog...and I'm in such a mood to grant that request:

December:
I got a new job but it really sucks. I am no longer teaching crazies that beat up their parents, but I am now teaching the most lethargic, anti-school kids in all of London. If you doubt my honesty, look up "east london schools" on google and you will probably get the just of what I am dealing with. I work in an ACADEMY in DALSTON. Because this is a translation I will tell you that "Academy" = "School that has been broken up into smaller schools because it is failing due to it's poor location and administration that doesn't give a damn" and "Dalston" = "east london neighborhood that has more gangs than pubs and grocery stores put together."

In December i also went home for Christmas and saw my family and my sister's new baby Rosaly (amazing), went cross-country skiing (toootally new to me and my future retirement activity of choice), saw the Bouncing Souls with Johnny and some timeless Connecticut friends (yes!), hung out with the kids I met in Israel (interesting), had my ex-boyfriend Andrew fly across the country to come hang out for new years (no big deal, really. Andrew reads this blog...can I post that sarcasm? :)), and saw my brilliant New York friends (who reminded me that home is probably not London).

January:
It was a month of disappointing others and being constantly disappointed. Not one of my finer months, to be honest. I was reminded once again that my new job is hell. I broke up with the perfect man because I "just wasn't that into him" even though he wanted to be "the one" (or something like that), was bummed because I went out on a limb and told a boy who I THOUGHT was into me how I felt about him, and it turns out, despite his actions, he just wanted to be friends (Names have been not used to protect the "innocent." ;) ), it snowed a lot, I tried to go to Dublin and couldn't get past new security laws with my passport which equaled more disappointment for me, went ice skating in one of the prettiest places in London and remembered this city, and my friends, are awesome.

February:
It was my annual "what am I doing with my life" month. I decided for sure I wanted to go back to New York/The United States and started looking for jobs, debated this a lot, and I'm still not sure what I'm doing, was given good reasons from many amazing people in my life on both shores of the argument, hung out in South London more than usual (because it is rugby season and the Irish friends I have left in this country live in South London). Spending time in South London mean I inevitably ran into the boy I used to date, Eamonn, and I was able to successfully hang out with him and maintain some semblance of friendship. It was a positive turn in our somewhat tumultuous relationship. I went to Egypt with Sarah Caufield during February break and we had an absolutely rocking time seeing all the old stuff and meeting fun new people, came back to London and was hit in the face with the job I still hate, and took solace in the fact that the people I work with are solid gold.

March:
So far, so interesting. I ran into Eamonn again at the beginning of the month and the results this time were different. I let his charm get to me, and had a moment of weakness for him once again. Let us all, at this time, remind ourselves he's not right for me, my house threw a party with the theme "What did you want to be when you grew up" and it was one of the best house parties I've been to in my life, outside of Caufield's infamous halloween parties. I felt so socially anxious, but it turned out to be an absolute blast. I have been hanging out with a great guy, called Lukasz, from Australia, and he's going home next week. He's lived here for three years and he's ready to call it quits on London. I know the feeling. It's a real shame because he is pretty spectacular. We are going to India together after school gets out in July. This was decided last month before we got all googly-eyed towards each other, so no one worry, it's not an impulsive decision. I skipped school today and wrote this blog, among other things, and that pretty much catches this translation up.

Just hung out with some girls from the hockey team who reminded me that moving home to New York is a silly idea...go figure.

Love, Hammer

Death of the Bloggity

Hey everyone!

Surprised to see me? Well, I'm surprised to be writing. The new job is crazy and I literally haven't had a chance to write since I started. I spend approximately 12-13 hours working everyday...and hell, I'm a teacher. That's criminal. However, I'm bunking-off (cutting/skipping/playing hooky/pulling a sick-y) today, so I've got time to play catch-up on my life...and blog. So much has occured over the past few months, that I'm just going to make a brief list.

Here are some keywords, ponderings, and photos to describe my last 100 days:

December...
New job
The Petchey Academy=Hope
Home is where the heart is.
Home is where you hang your hat?
"Home is where you hang yourself?"
What if my heart is in bits around the world...what do I do then?
Rosie-pants
Happiness
Winding Trails. I. Heart. New. England.
Christmas at the Hammers = :)
"When we get old, do our hearts die?"
Excitement
Soy Amada. (Ich bin geliebt.)
Jews Unite
Andrew
Brooklyn

January...
The first heart I've broken
The Petchey Academy = Hell
Disappointment
Aversion to work does not = laziness
Home is the United States?
So much disappointment
snow
cold
lonely
Somerset skating
Failed Dublin attempt
"Feeling Gloomy" = Feeling Better
ozzy ozzy ozzy oi oi oi! (Aussie day, but we are Americana at its finest.)
willing myself to cheerfulness


February
The India idea is born
South London Revisited
Jason Bronstein = Sengal in May?
Eamonn Og = Vindication
proud/confident/independent
Ireland Rugby
Applications to New York
Am I really moving HOME?
Home??
Egypt
Pyramids
Sarah Carpenter Caufield

travel=happiness
Hieroglyphics
Cover up for safety
Sleeper Car
Shisha
awesome coworkers, shitty job
I.Will.Not.Quit.


March...
mistakes.oh yea.mistakes.
Ireland Rugby
Eamonn Og = "Whoops I did it again."
"Dancing the night away"
couch cuddles
Euphoria
Manchester United Wins
What did you want to be when you grew up?
HOUSE PARTY
"If you can make it there, then you can make it anywhere."
Is that song about London?
Lukasz
India. July 23nd or Bust.
First Kiss fireworks
"Are you allergic to me?" ;)
The Petchey Academy still = Hell
Bunking-off

If you made it through, you win a prize. Seriously, my respect doesn't come easy these days. Leave a comment.

I love you.
Hammer

On quitting

Hey everyone!!

I'll try and keep this brief (because it is 8:45 am and I have a hockey game in a bit...) I am playing with the Ladies 4's now...the team above the one I used to play for...and it's a permanent move. I'm flattered, of course, but certainly sad to be leaving friends on the other team. (Tonight we are going to a comedy night, so crazy pictures will follow!)

Where did I leave off...Sami came to London last weekend, and we had a short-lived, but awesome time. My friend Carmine and I threw a Pub Crawl in our neighborhood because no one every really comes up here to hang out with us. (I'll admit...where I live is SLIGHTLY off the beaten path.)

We decided to make it a crazy hat event. So...we wore crazy hats from pub to pub. Naturally, I was the only one (besides Matt who is always up for anything) that really got into it, so most of the hats are mine. Clearly, I presumed other people would lame out, so I preempted the possibility that I might be the only one in fancy dress, and I brought out extra hats to force people into wearing them :) I'm such a good friend, eh?

Sami and Jason came to watch our hockey game (in the pooooouring rain), and we WON!!! Our first win since I've lived in this country! I know sports aren't about winning (but DAMN it felt good)! WOOOHOOOOO. (Okay, it STILL feels good, one week later.) And I had the assist! I was feeling greedy for a goal, but I'll certainly take an assist on a win.

This is a photo of us, soaking wet, post win. I'm going to treasure this photo forever...since I don't plan on winning again any time soon. ;)

Things kind of went downhill after Sami's visit. I had been talking to him and others about how I wasn't feeling fulfilled in my job. The students are SO difficult, and I just felt like, I've spent five years teaching/crowd controlling kids that don't want to learn...when do I get to actually better my teaching practice by actually TEACHING? In addition, I don't have qualified teacher status in England the way I do in the US, and without that, it is very difficult to get a job in a decent school. I have been thinking that I should start looking for schools that will let me do my teaching practice and get my Qualified Teacher Status (QTS) which will allow me to stay in this country (should I choose to do so) and not limit my options in my career. Furthermore, I have been having very serious problems with The PPP, and how they overwork their staff by taking advantage of workers and not adhering to the contract. We all know that one thing I don't lack is the ability to be vocal, and on numerous occasions, I (and others) have brought up these contractual discrepancies, and nothing has ever been done. People constantly say they will talk to their superiors, but nothing ever happens. Long story short, through lots of tears and lack of sleep, I resigned from my job on Monday.

I don't have another job to take it's place, but the term ends at Christmas, and I planned to stay on until Christmas while I looked for a new job for the next term. It is common for teachers to leave at the end of term, so there are a fair amount of positions available. In any case, on Wednesday I was told that I cannot stay on until the end of term, but that my last day will be Monday, November 30th. I was absolutely shocked. It is highly unconventional to turn a teacher down that wants to stay until the end of term. They will not be able to find a teacher in time, and they will have to higher a substitute...when I was OFFERING to stay! This shock made it all the more clear to me that I made the right decision in resigning because my organization does not have the best interests of the students at hand. (I was in the middle of finishing final drafts of papers that they need in order to graduate with them, for goodness sakes!)

Now, my company prides itself on honesty, and non-oppressive practice. I decided that in order to follow in the ethos of the company, I should be honest with the company about the reasons why I was leaving. So, I wrote a formal resignation letter explaining my reasons (listed above) to the company. I decided to email the letter to everyone. I figured, everyone has the right to know why I've left, instead of speculating about the reasons after I'm gone. Apparently, people don't exactly DO this. (Kidding, kidding, I know people don't exactly do this...but I'm a bit fiery, and I like to protest when things are unfair. I should have been a suffragette...) The letter detailed how I feel that the ethos of the company is brilliant, which is why I accepted a job at The PPP, but I think the CEO is out of touch with what actually happens in his buildings, and the ethos is not actually being practiced. Decisions are made based on money, and not based on the best interests of the students. (Don't worry, believe it or not, I was very tactful...as tactful as you can be when you are writing a letter to an entire company, and a CEO, of a company of only 80 people, who has never bothered to meet you.)

Let's just say, I was shocked by the responses. People I hardly know sent me emails thanking me, applauding me for my courage, and telling me that they too have been raising similar issues and nothing is happening. One guy who I've spoken to only once, from a different building than mine (he works with ESL kids), came over to my building after work to kiss me (on the lips!, but don't worry, he's verrry into his boyfriend) and thank me for bringing the issues out into the open. The CEO of the company responded to the email and has called a meeting for people to address these issues (after I've left, of course). Basically, I wrote the letter for my own personal gratification, but it felt really good to see it responded to in such a positive way. (Not positive for everyone, of course. My boss is truly thrilled about it because he agrees with me, but HR are horrified because I raised some issues about things that could be taken to the press and shed a not-so-flattering light on our organization.)

Moral of the story...I'm still out of a job, come Monday. I am in touch with about five teaching agencies right now to get me work for January. My old agency is giving me substitute teaching work up until Christmas. I sent out two applications to schools on my own, schools that I am really interested in working at (socio-economically diverse, relaxed atmosphere where students don't wear uniforms, young progressive staff, but with a population of students known for wanting to learn). I never expected to get a call back from these schools because last year I sent out about 50 applications, and not one of them responded to me. The only jobs I was able to interview for were with an agency. Anyhow, one of the two schools called me for an interview this coming Monday. (And they BETTER have! I spent 5 hours filling out their application form and crafting the most amazing cover letter in the history of cover letters!) I know I have a 1% chance of getting this position, but I'm over the moon at being given the opportunity to even interview! Then, I have interviews with schools through agencies on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Let's just say, I panicked when I didn't have a job anymore, and contacted every agency I've ever heard of.

This has been lengthy, even after my attempts to make it short, but if you made it to the end, think happy thoughts for me on Monday!

Love you!!!

Sarah

PS: This is what my schedule looks like for Christmas break...who is going to be around??

December 20-25--Connecticut
December 26-27--New Jersey (Bouncing Souls wootwoot!)
December 28-31--New York (I'm TOTALLY going to Oxford Street today and splurging on a ridiculous dress for new years even though I have no real excuse to wear it...)