I'M SORRY (but I love you)

Hey everyone,

I don't know how to start this blog. I'm sorry that I'm not a better friend/daughter/sister/granddaughter/cousin who writes more often and calls to say I love you.

My grandpa died on Tuesday, and if he WERE around, he would read this blog and know what's up in his granddaughter's life. But, I don't call enough or say I love you enough or write more often or live close enough to visit (or even close enough to go home for a funeral...) or send silly fridge magnets. And so, to everyone who is reading this, I love you. Seriously. I know it's been too long, and I am jerkstore. (And why am I the one in the family who got the seriously oversensitive gene?)

How do I go on from such introductions? Well...here goes. From March to May, a recap.

Our end of hockey social was at the end of March, and we had a great time. (I'm feeling highly uninspired to write happy things right now, but I'm really trying my best here. Excuse the lack of "brilliant" and "lovely" and "swell.") This is a photo of Carmine and I. Somehow I acquired a Dickie-Bow. (You can dress me up, but clearly, I cannot be taken out.)

April was a month of vacation. It wasn't planned that way...but it happened anyway. School let out for Easter break (what should have been two weeks) on the 6th of April. I went with Jason (who, contrary to popular belief based on frequency of couply photographs, is not, and will never be, my boyfriend) and some other friends to Newcastle, Glasgow, and Edinburgh.
What nutter goes on a hike in fake suede boots. (It was an accident, I swear!) This is what is left of Hadrian's Wall. We actually had to ask for directions to it even though we were right in front of it...funny story.Photo of the beach on the English/Scottish border

Look kids, it's a Border Abbey. Another one! (This one is in England, I think!)
Oh my goodness. Most delicious heart attack--Deep Fried Mars Bar. Edinburgh, Scotland

The trip itself was awesome, but I was reminded that my friends here are boring. Well, let me rephrase, my non-hockey, non boy-friends, are boring. I mean, Lisa and her husband are boring. They wanted to go to bed early and wake up early to see lots of castles and abbeys and well, that's just not really my thing I guess.

I love history as much as the best of them, but I'm not going to forfeit a good night out seeing a gig so that I can wake up at the crack of dawn to see the inside of a cathedral. I'm just not going to do that. And I hope that getting old doesn't mean I forget how to have fun. (I hope getting married doesn't mean I forget how to have fun!)

I do not have Peter Pan syndrome. I DO want to grow up. I DO want to get married and have babies and a house and all that good stuff. I just don't want to become LAME. I want to get married and have babies and then I want to hire a babysitter to watch them while I go and see a gig with my husband and our friends. Because, of course, I don't want to be part of those lame couples that get married and then stop hanging out. You all know the kind of couples I'm talking about. I want to take my kids hiking in those cute little baby-backpacks until they are big enough to totter along next to me in their hiking shorts and little hiking boots. Shirtless. Yes, I imagine my hippie children, both girls and boys, to be tottering shirtless. And yes, in case you are wondering, I've already named them in Sarah Hammer fantasy land. Come on girls, who hasn't fantasy named their fantasy children. (But seriously, what I'm trying to say is, growing up does not mean growing boring. So can we please not get boring when we grow up? Thanks. I'm done now.)

After Scotland, Jason and I went to Spain to hike one week of the Camino de Santiago. IT WAS SPECTACULAR. It was also the hardest thing I've ever done. We hiked about 20 miles every day. We woke up at the crack of dawn, actually, most days before the crack of dawn, and started hiking. And then we hiked all day. For 210 kilometers. It was a great test of will. And it has been confirmed, I've got will. I've got a lot of will. On day three, I thought I couldn't take one more step. And then, I took four more days worth of steps. (Mind you, on the most disgusting blisters you can possibly imagine. Let's put it this way, a man we met on the way gave me a syringe so that I could suck out all the stuff inside my blisters, and then inject them with benodine. I almost passed out from pain. I've never almost passed out from anything. It was unpleasant.) But the moral of the story is, I have learned strength of character. (Now, I need to work on patience. I know I'm not patient with other people even though I expect them to be patient with me. And that's just not fair. Sarcastically written but not sarcastically meant. Trying to write not using full sentences. Ever.)
We saw pretty things. (Day 2)

We woke up before the sun, and before the fog settled too!
We had big bags (here we are at 100 kilometers to go.) More than half way there!
We enjoyed graffiti

We made it to the cathedral and walked through the holy door that is open only on holy years. Apparently, we are pardoned for life...
We made friends. (This is Cassandra, Seb, Jason, and I at the holy door.)

After Spain we were meant to fly out of Porto, Portugal, after spending just one day there, but, the volcano kept us there for another six days. I missed a week of work. I'm still trying to find out if I'm going to get paid. Let's all hold our breaths for me. I NEED to get paid for that week. Porto was great fun.
Here is what it looks like from high up in a tower.
Here is what the beach looks like with an awesome girl jumping even though her legs were SO tired.
And HERE is what you are supposed to do on vacation. (Apparently, you are not supposed to hike. You are supposed to eat ice cream. A lot of ice cream. Specifically passion fruit flavoured ice cream. Holy Cow it's good!)

Because we ended up staying for so long, Jason and I couch surfed. I was reminded of the kindness of near strangers. Story time: Last year I went on a few dates with a guy called Dave. I met his flatmate and his flatmate's girlfriend. Things with Dave didn't go anywhere (I'm a heartbreaker, dreammaker, lovetaker don't you mess around with me!). Anyway, when we were stranded in Porto, I posted on Facebook that I was stranded. Dave's flatmate's girlfriend got in touch because she used to live in Porto, and hooked us up with a couch-surfing friend of hers. Now, we would have gotten a couch to stay on anyway, because we are part of the couch-surfing community, but, it was infinitely easier to stay with a friend of a friend. It was so kind of her to help us out, and we met people all week in Porto who went out of their way to help us out. We met numerous people who offered to host us if we had to stay longer. We were invited out for dinner with locals, went to a great university jazz night, and toured the city with our host as well. I've now got a special place for Porto in my heart. Sometimes we all need reminders that the world DOES contain people who want to go out of their way to help you out, for nothing in return.

I finally got back to work this past week, and was shocked to find that the majority of my students were actually HAPPY to have me back. They behaved REASONABLY, for once. Perhaps they needed to miss me before they could appreciate me. (One of my classes can still bring me to tears, but hey, one out of six isn't so bad. Especially not at this point.)

A brief word on work. I am still planning on leaving my school after this year. I will be handing my resignation in by the end of May. I am, however, going to stay in London for one more year. The decision had to be made at some point. I've made it. I have one more year left on my visa and I should use it. I probably will never have the opportunity to live in Europe ever again. (Once you are 30 it becomes infinitely more difficult to secure a visa.) I have had a horrible year here in terms of crappy things happening on the home-front, and I still feel like I'm coming out on top. I miss family and friends ALL the time, but as Shannon and my parents in particular have said, you all are still going to be there in one more year's time. I hate my job, so instead of moving back to the states, I will just switch jobs. I haven't decided yet if I'm still going to teach here, but because the school year doesn't end until mid-July, I still have time to decide. In the meantime, if anyone has any thoughts on what I can do here that isn't teaching, let me know. I have no clue what I'd be good at besides teaching (that someone will actually hire me to do)!!!

After a week of work, it was time for vacation again. (Sick, isn't it?) It was May day, so we had today off as a national holiday. I went up to the Lake district with Juliet, Jason, and our friend Dave. We camped. (It was freezing.)
We hiked up the highest mountain in England. (It was freeeeeeezing.) We made s'mores. I laughed a lot. It was much needed. Next weekend I'm hiking up Snowdon (the highest mountain in Wales). It's been a nature month. And I'm loving it. I'm so much happier outside. EVEN if it's cold and I can't feel my fingers and my feet are all blistery and my lips are bleeding. I've traded crushes on boys (worthless) to crushes on my rain pants (totally rewarding)! I want to wear them all the time. I want it to rain tomorrow so I can wear them to work. I've been biking to work, by the way...and I'm having a contest with myself about how much transport money I can save each week. This past week I spent 2 pounds instead of 28.50.

In terms of summer plans, I AM for SURE going to India. I'm going with Lukasz. (Awesome Australian who decided that instead of dating me he would move back to Australia. Just kidding, he decided that he was moving before he met me. I did not scare him away. I don't think. But I do have that tendency I'm beginning to notice.) I'm going for the whole summer break--July 24th until August 23rd. Well, I haven't bought my tickets yet, but that's the plan. Starting out in Mumbai and ending in Delhi. If anyone has any suggestions, pleeeeeaaassseeee get onto me about them. I would love to hear them. Also, if anyone wants to join us for part of the trip, that would be totally great. (Chris, want to meet up for a couple of weeks? Lorna, it would be awesome to see what happens to Scottish skin in India!)

We are coming to the end of the blog now, and I just want to repeat what I mentioned earlier--I love you all, and I would love to hear from you all more, just as I will try to write more often. (I think everyone in the world got a postcard from Portugal though. I had a LOT of time on my hands...)

Miss you, now more than ever. Gosh, am I really that much of a sap?

:) Hammer

PS: If you want to sponsor me for a race I'm running, you can click here.